Real Bride: Emma Pateman

Your name: Emma Pateman

Groom's name: Joe Pateman

Wedding date: 5th July 2017

City, State: Christchurch, Dorset

Tell us more about you!

How long have you been together?

Joe and I met on the 7th Jan 2016 so we've only been together 1.5 years but we knew it was right straight away. Joe asked me out a couple of times but I always made an excuse as I was struggling with confidence and going through a bit of a rough patch, but when I eventually went to meet up with him we hit it off right away and ended up spending all evening and night with each other just walking and talking! He was so understanding and kind, I knew he was special!

How did he propose? (Or how did you propose!)

The initial proposal happened in bed one evening when I just spontaneously asked him! I don't think I really believed it was even an option as this was only 2 months after we met!! Joe said yes and I couldn't believe my luck. We both set out to look for rings (I got him an engagement ring) and just under a month later, he took me to his favourite childhood spot in the new forest, we exchanged speeches and proposed to each other with our beautiful rings!

What was your favorite part of the wedding?

Definitely the moment we snuck off during the reception to lie down beneath the stars by the river, just the two of us, and take a moment to soak it all up! It was a memory I will treasure forever!

What went wrong with your wedding?

Well we somehow ended up at the venue an hour early! So myself, my mum and the bridesmaids had a mission to sneak into the hotel without being seen by any of the guests or the groom! We did manage it and it ended up working out perfectly because I got to do a first look with my dad!

My ring bearer dropped the rings just as I was making my entrance; watching the scramble around to pick the rings up was quite amusing!

We couldn't have confetti at our venue due to local wildlife. I spent weeks agonizing over the perfect alternative to get that perfect photo. I came up with bubbles, bought loads of them and had them in a beautifully presented basket for guests to help themselves, but we all forgot about it!

There were a couple of other things throughout the day but honestly I wouldn't change a thing!

Did you find any tricks to save you money?

Definitely! We booked a mid-week wedding, which was about a third of the price of a Saturday wedding! I bought my beautiful designer dress in a sample sale for half its normal retail price!

I found most of my accessories on sale on wish.com!

My bridesmaids dresses were from Amazon for only £60 each!

But the biggest money-saving tip I have for any bride is never accept the first price! Most wedding suppliers will create a standard quote; if that doesn't fit within your budget don't chuck them straight away, talk to them and ask them to create a bespoke quote that can fit within your budget, this approach saved me thousands!

If you could go back and redo it, would you change anything and what?

I Honestly don't think I would change a thing about my wedding. It was perfect for us and the most amazing day of our lives! The only thing I would say is that if I could go back I wouldn't get so stressed about the little things--it all comes together in the end.

Do you have any advice for new brides?

Invite who YOU want! We had a small guest list because we only had the people who meant the most to us there (no distant cousins and old neighbours, etc.)

Take a moment out of the day for just you and your new husband. You only get those moments once, so truly treasure it!

Pull in favours--if you know anyone who can help you out on the day, then make sure you ask them. Worst they can say is no!

Always challenge the price!

Enjoy it!! It's over in a flash...

Did you over-plan or under-plan or was it just right?

I think it was perfect, I was a fairly relaxed bride (I did have my bridezilla stressed moments at times) but I was organized, I had every detail worked out, but I didn't expect it to stick to the exact schedule. On the day I let everyone else guide em through--I deliberately didn't take charge on the day.

Did any of your vendors knock your socks off?

Yes!! My florist, Maria, was incredible! She was at the venue early in the morning, making it look picture perfect. When my sister went to set up a couple of bits I had made myself, Maria completely took charge and guided her in how to set things up. The venue looked absolutely perfect. She had even thrown in little extras and added in flowers that were out of my price range! I can't thank her enough!

Also our photographer and videographer were incredible! They captured every moment of the day! Our videographer, Jess, is only a film student, and was incredibly reasonably priced but her final product was even better than I had hoped! She was professional on the day and kept us relaxed. Andrew (our photographer) was amazing--he'd gone through every detail with us prior to the wedding, and we really felt comfortable with him, and he got some beautiful shots!

Did any of your vendors disappoint?

I unfortunately did have an issue with one supplier (keepsake memory prints). Luckily I had only ordered personalized champagne flutes and hangers, so it wasn't essential for the wedding day, but this company was definitely a scam. It took over 4 months from ordering to get the items, despite constant promises that they would be sent that week! I had to resort to threatening bad reviews etc.; she told me countless lies but eventually sent them. When the items arrived, the vinyl was peeling off the hangers and the ribbons hadn't been tied properly. They looked like they'd been put together in minutes!

Luckily these were just an added extra and they didn't change the way the day went in the slightest!

What was one (or more!) special element in your wedding that isn’t in most?

Our wedding was small, low key and very relaxed; however, it still had the glamour and style of a big, luxurious wedding and I think that's what made our wedding so individual!

We chose everything to suit our personalities. We're big kids at heart so we had Colin the Caterpillar cakes for the wedding cake; I had a Captain America garter; we had games, activities and generally lots of fun!

We also had charity pins as favours, which everyone raved about! They were special and significant to our family. Not a single one was left on a table!

What do you wish you’d spent more on (whether you were able to or not)?

The only thing I would love to have had room for in the budget was live music! I'm a musician myself and really appreciate good live music; however, we just didn't have room in the budget and all of my performer friends were at the wedding as guests!

Where do you feel like you could have saved money or overspent?

As much as I loved our cakes, I do feel that wedding cake is definitely an unneeded extra! We had loads left at the end of our wedding!

How many guests did you invite vs how many RSVPed vs how many actually came?

We invited 37 day guests and 32 came. (only 30 rsvpd!!) The only people that couldn't make it were some of my husband's military friends, as they got posted.

We invited 20 evening guests, all 20 rsvp'd "yes," but only 15 came!

Wedding venue: the King's Arms hotel, Christchurch

Caterer: same as above

Photographer: Andrew Christopher photography

Videographer: Jessica Skipp - Captures

Planner: myself

DJ/Band: n/a

Dress Designer: Stella York

Bridal Salon: Beaumont Brides, Basingstoke

Bridesmaids designer: Amazon seller solovedress

Bridesmaids Salon: Amazon

Menswear: Marks and Spencer

Officiant: Registry from Dorset CC

Florist: Maria Dyroff from Simply Flowers, Dorset

Jeweler: Ernest Jones

Hair stylist: Ami Duchescherer

Makeup Artist: Fiona Lucy Clark (FLC Dorset)

Cake: Marks and Spencer

Invitations: homemade

Bartender: hotel staff