Wedding Invitations: Everything You Need to Know

As a wedding invitation designer, as I’m sure you can imagine, I get asked TONS of questions every single day. Things like “When should I send out save the dates?” “What should my RSVP deadline be?” And “What is a detail card?”

So today I’ve decided to do a rundown of all my FAQs about invitations and explain my answers.

Question 1

When should I send out save the dates?

Answer: 6-8 months before the wedding. You can send them as soon as 10-12 months before if it’s a destination wedding or if a lot of guests will have to make travel arrangements.

But why? The reason for sending them no earlier than a year out is actually pretty simple. People forget things. Think about it. If someone sends you a Christmas card in September, will you even remember that you got it when it’s finally Christmas time? Probably not. The best time frame to aim for is 6-8 months because it will still be fresh enough in their mind.

Question 2

When should I send out invitations?

Answer: 6-8 weeks before the wedding. You can send up to 10 weeks before for a destination wedding or if a lot of guests are traveling OR if you did not send save the dates.

But why? Basically the same reason as above. You want to send them out with enough time for people to make plans, but not so far out that people forget about them.

Question 3

What should my RSVP-by date be?

Answer: This one is a tough one that honestly a lot of people don’t want to hear. The answer is 3-4 weeks. Absolutely no more than 5-6 weeks before the wedding. I know that seems like you’re pushing it super close, so hear me out.

But why? Generally your final numbers are due to vendors (caterers mainly) 1-2 weeks before the wedding. You will need 1-2 weeks to track down people who didn’t rsvp (it does happen. I’ve never heard of a single wedding where every single guest responded by the deadline! And you need a yes or no from each invitee--no guesswork!) So why not make the rsvp date further out so you have plenty of time to track people down? The simple reason is because if you set the date very far out (more than a month before) you’re going to cut the number of people who actually rsvp by about 50% and make more work for yourself. People don’t like to commit to things very far out. You would think that if they really wanted to be there they would, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes people don’t know their work schedules yet or can’t ask off that far in advance. Or they have to find child care, or their sister is having a bridal shower sometime near your wedding that they can’t miss, but they haven’t been told the exact date yet. Whatever the reason, the further out you set that date, the fewer responses you’ll actually get. Of course, if your numbers are due a month out, you can't have an RSVP deadline of a month before the wedding. That's where the 1-2 weeks before the numbers are due should be used.

Question 4

what is a detail card?

Answer: A detail card can actually be whatever you want it to be. If your venue is hard to find, including directions on a separate card can be super helpful. Have more information on your wedding website? Add the link to the detail card. If you’ve reserved a block of hotel rooms, that information should be on the detail card. Will there be a shuttle from your reception venue back to hotels? Guests need to plan on that. A detail card is simply a place to put the extra information you want your guests to know (or that you think your guests will want to know!)

Question 5

What are invitation sleeves, belly bands, pocket folds, etc?

Answer: Pocket folds are like a large, open-ended envelope that you slip all the invitation pieces into. They have a pocket to hold rsvps, detail cards, etc. These can be quite expensive, but if you have more than an invitation and rsvp card in each envelope they can be well worth it.

Invitation sleeves are kind of one step down from pocket folds. They don’t have any pockets, but they enclose your invitation and other cards together in one place, and they add an extra element of elegance to your invitations. They are generally a little cheaper than pocket folds, but the more intricate they are, the more expensive they can get. (They are often laser-cut into lacy designs, etc.)

Belly bands are the cheapest enclosure option. They are a simple piece of paper (or sometimes ribbon) that goes around your invitation and cards, in the center. It can be helpful to keep everything together, but this is also the version that is easiest for the invitations to slip out of. If you want to add a little something extra to the look of the invitations but you’re on a budget, these are a great option! Check out my partner Shelbi's Facebook Page (Shelbi's Sleeves and more) to get a discount on sleeves, belly bands and more!

Question 6

Whose name goes first on the save the dates and invitations?

Answer: The bride's name traditionally goes first on both.

But why?

Traditionally, the bride's name went first because, many, many decades ago, the bride was given to the husband by her family. That’s a pretty outdated concept now, of course. More recently, the bride's name was listed first because traditionally the bride's parents were the ones paying for the wedding (or the majority of the wedding). Now, even that is becoming outdated with more and more couples paying for their own nuptials. If that is the case, you can choose how you want to list the names, but it might confuse some people to see the groom's name first.

What if it’s a same-sex wedding?

For same-sex weddings, the most popular way of deciding is doing it alphabetically. But you have much more freedom in this situation and can do whatever you prefer. If one person's parents are contributing more than the other, good taste suggests to put that person's name first. Another option is to list the person whose last name will be changing (if only one is changing) first.

Question 7

How should I word my invitations?

Answer: We are going to have to do another post on this topic because in this day and age there are SO many options. Be on the lookout for that post coming soon!

Have a question? Comment here or e-mail me!

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