The Anxious Bride - How to Get Over It
Something you may not know (or may not believe) about me is that I am an extremely socially anxious person. I hate being in large groups of people, and I even more hate being the center of attention. I know I am not the only one out there; in fact, about 40 million people in the US alone suffer from anxiety!
So, what is a bride to do when she has anxiety? Wedding planning is enough to make anyone anxious--there is so much stress and work that goes into planning your dream wedding. But what do you do when the idea of standing up in front of all those people and saying your vows makes you want to vomit just thinking about it?! We have the answer!
1. Skip The Wedding
I know that may sound harsh--I don't mean skip the entire thing! But no one says you have to do a traditional wedding ceremony in front of all your closest friends and family members. If you really don't do well in social situations or being the center of attention, consider skipping the ceremony altogether. Go down to the courthouse and get married! Getting married at the courthouse does not mean you have to skip having a reception!
2. Do Traditional Vows
I really wanted to do the traditional vows at my wedding, my husband did not. We ended up writing our own vows and it was crazy scary! I hated the idea of writing them; I hated actually sitting down to write them; and most importantly, I hated standing in front of everyone reading them. Yes, writing your own vows is a great way to personalize the ceremony and make it extra special, but truly, it's not for everyone. Don't feel bad if you stick to traditional vows--those are much easier to say out loud in front of everyone than your innermost thoughts and feelings are!
If you do decide to write your own vows, check out my article on how to write your vows, stress-free, in 7 days to relieve a little bit of the pressure!
3. Do a First Look
If you suffer from anxiety, one of the scariest moments of the entire day will be that moment right before you walk down the aisle. Consider doing a first look with your future spouse right before heading down the aisle. Not only will this help calm your nerves a TON, but it's also a great opportunity to get a little alone time for the two of you that day. Strange as it may sound, wedding days are very hectic and a first look might actually be one of the few opportunities you will have to be alone with your one-and-only. (Yes, a photographer will be there, but most of them know to stay a small distance away from you during this so you can talk to each other a little and hug and such--it really hardly feels like anyone else is there.)
4. Start Getting Ready EARLY
The earlier you can start getting ready, the better it will be. I promise. There's no better way to induce stress than to be running behind schedule. Think you need to start getting ready at 11AM? Aim for 10, or even 8 or 9! The more time you have to take your time, relax and go with the flow, the less nervous you will be.
5. Have an Intimate Ceremony
Don't want to go to the courthouse but not sure you can handle standing up in front of all your guests either? Consider doing an "intimate ceremony." Invite only your true nearest and dearest to the ceremony, and invite the rest to only the reception. Grandparents, parents, siblings, and your aunts, uncles and cousins will want to be invited to the ceremony. Friends and coworkers are usually totally fine with just being invited to the party after! It's YOUR wedding day and you can do whatever you want to do!
