So, you haven't RSVPed...
If your friend, family member or coworker sent you this link, there’s a pretty good chance that you were invited to a wedding and you have not responded by the RSVP deadline.
That’s okay. You’re not in trouble. However, you should give them an answer as soon as you possibly can. I don’t mean a week or two after the deadline or a few days before the wedding. I mean like, go ahead, take an hour or two to decide whether you can make it or not, and then let them know. If you aren't sure yet, and you won't know for sure until the week of the wedding, then it's a No.
I know we all have lives, we have work, and it’s entirely possible that you honestly don’t know whether you’ll be able to make it. Take your best guess. Here’s why:
The bride and groom chose you. They chose to invite you to celebrate their wedding with them. They are not sitting there going, “Oh, she hasn’t responded yet, maybe she just doesn’t know her schedule yet. We can be patient.” No. They are sitting there thinking, “Oh my god, only 40 people out of 150 that I invited are going to show up. I feel so unloved. I also have to give a headcount to my caterer in 2 days! I have to start working on a table plan and seating arrangement. If I only need 5 guest tables instead of the 10 I had planned on, how is that going to affect things? Should I call all my vendors and explain to them that the numbers will be lower than expected? Should I return some of the centerpieces and reduce the number of tables I'm renting?” And on and on and on.
Weddings are extremely stressful for the bride and groom and all of those who are closely involved. The last thing they want to do in the final few weeks before their wedding is sit around calling God knows how many people who haven’t responded yet, on top of everything else they have going on.
Your RSVP is not just letting them know whether you can make it or not. It’s also how the couple knows how many tables they need, how many centerpieces to buy or make, and most importantly how much food and how many chairs they need.
If you really want to go, but don’t know your work schedule yet, ask off ASAP. If you are sure you can't get off work, either plan to call in sick or just don’t go to the wedding. If you don’t especially want to go, don't hesitate to respond NO. You don’t have to give a reason. Do everything you possibly can to figure it out, and then let them know.
And while I’m at it – don’t respond "No" and then show up anyway. If you say yes and then you can’t make it after all, that’s slightly more forgivable than showing up when you said you wouldn't. Showing up unexpectedly might mean there isn’t enough food or even chairs and tables because there likely will only be enough for those who did respond on time.
So there you go. If someone you know sent you this link, they still love you, I promise. But you now have no more than a few hours to make a decision and let them know!
Now share this with anyone you know who didn’t RSVP!